Stand By Me

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When I express my fears, my failures or shortcomings to you as my friend, my companion, my better half, my sister, my brother whatever our relation is. I am not asking you to pick up my slack or to convince me that “it ain’t so bad” or that “The lord works in mysterious ways”. Neither am I asking you to pick up my slack or pick me up. Granted a few positive words are appreciated, but all I really want is for you to accept that I will not necessarily agree with your outlook and I will not pretend I am not down in the dumps because you say so. We all deal with our own falls in our own unique ways and how I feel pain is not the same as you.

I need to recognize and understand just how far down I have fallen to get an understanding of just how far I need to climb back up. I refuse to go blindly. It doesn’t make me a negative person, but rather a realistic person. All I ask is that you continue being the best friend, sister, brother, whatever you are to me, and not try to “Pick Me Up” or live my life for me. Trust me if you insist you will get tired, you will get frustrated and you will end up resenting me. When all I really needed was for you to carry on being you and respect my being me and doing things the way I do me.

***NaffStarr***

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Aaaaaand you wonder why …

Ever felt like all your relationships are the same? That no matter how different they start they always seem to end the same. You must be at that point where you’re starting to think all men/women are the same right? Or you could be that real decent and oh so rare “starting with the man/woman in the mirror” type that starts thinking they might be the problem. I mean, YOU are the common denominator in all this afteral.

Well in truth you are but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re at fault. The thing is, many people will only have one relationship in their lives. Two if they’re lucky. Yes you read me right, it is all just one relationship with a series of different partners.

See, everyone has that one relationship they can never forget. That one relationship where, at its height, everything was perfect, he/she was the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend and even though it ended she/he is the standard by which every partner or potential partner is judged. People will be in this relationship until that one partner comes along, you know, the one that comes and “Hits them with the futuristic” and absolutely changes their whole view on relationships. Only then, when their mind gets so blown it finally awakens to the fact that the perfect relationship is what you make of it. Simply put, we carry the expectations, shortcomings and insecurities of that one relationship to every single relationship we get into next until we finally have this awakening. Only then, does the move onto relationship number TWO occur. And if all goes well, this could be their last or the first of many amazing experiences.

Take a look at your situation, if you’re constantly being compared, or a previous partner is constantly being referenced … Well my Guy/Gurl … You are just another hopeful contestant trying out for the lead in a relationship that isn’t yours. If you find that you’re constantly referencing your best relationship yet, bruh/babe … Give the other child a break n stop wasting their time. The real question here is, if they were so perfect that everybody else has to be better than them to stand any chance at a fair shot … Why the FUDGE are they not HERE?

If you can’t find the answer to this question, I’ll give it to you.(And you have options) They were either:
1. Not Perfect or
2. You weren’t good enough.

Sooo, now that we’ve cleared the air, how about you just be a decent human being (Pull that stick out your …) and
1. Be ALONE till you get over yourself and your Bull$#!t childish issues. OR
2. Just show the person who obviously thinks you’re worth their time some love.

NaffStarr


Collage

What is a puzzle?

puz·zle – /ˈpəzəl/
verb
1. cause (someone) to feel confused because they cannot understand or make sense of something.
noun
1. a game, toy, or problem designed to test ingenuity or knowledge.

With society having programmed us with a set idea of what the “Perfect” relationship is, it is no wonder then that, just as with the puzzles one can buy from the store, we all have a vivid picture of what a perfect relationship should be. In the search for it, we set out to find the perfect partner, one who “Completes” us, makes us whole and completes this beautiful picture we have in our minds. In this situation, great care is taken into finding the perfect partner, with numerous, standardized responses factored into the choice of partner. Intelligent decision making, careful analysis of the perfect partner is required and anything out of place is eliminated. The only emotions that matter in this scenario, are those that come when the picture is complete.

In truth, the “Perfect” relationship is a collage.

col·lage – /kəˈläZH,kô-,kō-/
noun
1. a piece of art made by sticking various different materials such as photographs and pieces of paper or fabric onto a backing.

A collage is about different entities, sharing the same space. Feeding off each other, allowing a great sense of freedom, for betterment of expression and artistic interpretation. Compromise is the natural order of things, as all the different entities all have their strengths and weaknesses. A collage is less about perfection and more about texture, contrast and how things that shouldn’t work together, bound by the glue that is Love, come together to create the perfect picture. Their imperfection making them perfect.

NaffStarr


Beautiful Thought

My life … Odd and increasingly strange,
So much I have befriended strange.
I have become one with strange.
A state my little mind,
has stopped trying to reconcile let alone comprehend.

I jus know that in chaos’ grip, thoughts of you, vivid as a video clip,
looped to the evening and dawn. Like the rising of the sun,
as winter’s frost thaws,
so my heart soars.
All thanks to you … My Beautiful Thought

NaffStarr


I in Music

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You see music was her drug of choice.
Her favourite drug …

I would be her pusher!
I would provide the fuel that fired her imagination, the engines to her shuttle,
Transporting her soul,
On trips across the stars.
Maybe, just maybe even to heaven.

I would be her pusher, hoping she wouldn’t overdose on the product.For as long as i could, I would push to her.

See, I wanted to push her,
Into a parallel universe where …
She and I were …
One and the same
Flying high off our opium.

I wanted to be the rhythm to which she danced.
The sounds which gave wings to her soul.
I wanted to Be the music …

NaffStarr


Missing a Dream

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Longing …
Familiar unfamiliarities,
Distinct indistinct tastes & sensations.
Clearly visible almost tangible entities.

How is it that I have such strong memories,
Of the curve of your lip, and of your nose’s tiny wrinkle …
The slight glimmer, the glint in your eyes when you smile?

How do I recall the rain drops trickling, down your arms,
The sound of your laughter with the sound of rain as its backdrop?

How do I miss dancing,
Playing tag in the rain with you?
How do I remember helping you dry off and building fires under the stars?

I can see you,
I remember your scent.
I know the rhythm of your heartbeat.
And your breathing as you drift off to sleep.

I have watched you walk,
Seen you smile at the thought of us.
I have seen you, see me, watching you.
I know I have held you when it was cold, danced with you in your thoughts.

Yet we have never met.
So how is it that …
I long for things …
Familiar yet so unfamiliar?
How is it that I miss places I have never been,
Doing things that I have never done?
How is it, that I have this deepset longing …
For a heart that feels like Home,
A girl I have never held?


Shreds

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A tender moment,
Quality time is what we were to spend.
In that kiss, in that embrace,
All the familiar scenery, sensations lay waiting.
I could feel the love, this was still the place.
Only, there was something else, a new presence.
I knew it, I knew this space …

In between our heartbeats, something inside the heart shattered.
The pounding of the heart reduced it to shards.

But the heart is a stubborn thing you see …
It pumped even harder,
Its strong muscles thrashing those shards violently against its walls.
Till its very fibres were reduced to … Shreds

A long kiss good night … Good bye?

NaffStarr